This one is sort of short and sweet. While talking to some friends of mine who are in the trucking industry, we often end up talking about mechanical issues we deal with on a pretty regular basis. As an owner operator, it is imperative that we keep up on proper regular maintenance. Of course, that’s true across the entire industry, but it’s especially important for an owner operator to know a certain amount of mechanical skills to prevent costly repairs out on the road. Inevitably, these rigs will eventually fail on us at some point, and just like with our physical bodies, sometimes the ailments are beyond our capabilities to remedy. When that happens, we must find someone with the proper knowledge, tools and skills to fix us up and make us all better. I’ll cut to the chase – this poem is a plea for the help of a qualified doctor – not an MD (Medical Doctor) but rather an RD (a Rig Doctor). I wrote this as if it’s written from an old truck’s perspective (imagine a worn-out rig in search of a qualified mechanic to fix all the things it has neglected or abused over the years). I’m sure a medical doctor can relate to a mechanic, regarding the list of woes we bring to them, and expect miracles in return. Take care of your body and it’ll take care of you. Take care of your rig, and it’ll take care of you, as well. And if that doesn’t work, call a Rig Doctor.
I NEED A RIG DOCTOR
By Trevor Hardwick
I’m looking for a doctor,
And I don’t know who to call.
I’m not sure what my problem is,
And I don’t know much at all.
I cracked my head, my elbow’s bent,
My body’s breaking down.
My brain has got some wires crossed,
And I’m making funny sounds.
I’ve tried to quit my smoking,
And I’m drinking way too much.
I’m torn-up on the inside,
And it’s hard for me to clutch.
Allegedly, I’ve got no balls,
And I can’t run real fast.
Apparently, I’ve lost the strength,
I once had in the past.
It’s hard to turn me on,
My performance lost its peak.
I’m clearly overweight,
And my rear-ends got a leak.
I’m greasy where I shouldn’t be,
I leak out in the yard.
I must admit, I’ve slipped a bit,
And hooking-up is hard.
I’m desperate for a Rig Doctor,
To diagnose my woes.
I’m aging and I’m wearing out,
But I guess that’s how it goes.