Happy new year, everyone! 2017 sounds like one of those years we used to imagine in some futuristic sci-fi movie. I don’t know about you, but so far, none of my cars or trucks are flying through the air yet. I still manually drive an 18-wheeler – not a 40-ton hover-ship – and I prefer it this way. I want my rig to be rolling in perfect harmony with that ribbon of asphalt that we all know and love. However, that also means that we must roll on a variety of road conditions, and although ice and snow is something I get plenty of time with, I still cannot develop a pleasant relationship with it. I sometimes joke that the freezing weather makes my tire-shine more difficult to spray. But, more frustrating than that, is the time delays caused by icy roads. And who really enjoys hanging iron and clanking down the road at a snail’s pace? This month, I wrote another parody. Johnny Cash had a hit song called “I Got Stripes” that refers to the stripes printed on a prison uniform. But, I rewrote the words to reflect the frustrations of dealing with icy roads. I hope you enjoy my version called “I’ve Got Ice…” this month. Be safe out there. Thanks to Shannon Royce for the great “snowy” picture!
I’VE GOT ICE…
By Trevor Hardwick
On a Monday, I was all rested,
On a Tuesday, I sat for snow and hail.
On a Wednesday, my patience had been tested,
On a Thursday, I said “heck with this…”
And headed over Vale.
I’ve got ice… ice is on the shoulder,
I’ve got chains… clankin’ on the street.
I’ve got ice… all the way to Boulder,
And these chains, these chains,
They’re bound to drag me down.
On a Monday, I fought some minor glitches,
On a Tuesday, I fought the freezin’ rain.
On a Wednesday, I kept between the ditches,
On a Thursday, Lord, I begged…
The sun would come around again.
I’ve got ice… ice is on the shoulder,
I’ve got chains… clankin’ on the street.
I’ve got ice… all the way to Boulder,
And these chains, these chains,
They’re bound to drag me down.
On a Monday, the sun had come to see me,
On a Tuesday, I started makin’ miles.
On a Wednesday, it started looking scary,
On a Thursday, Lord, I contemplated…
Quittin’ for a while.
I’ve got ice… ice is on the shoulder,
I’ve got chains… clankin’ on the street.
I’ve got ice… all the way to Boulder,
And these chains, these chains,
They’re bound to drag me down!