Don’t we all just love the feel of autumn in the air? The changing leaves, the cooler temps, the shorter days… NOT ME! I can admire and appreciate the beauty God creates in every season, but I dislike the fall, mainly because the dread of winter is rapidly approaching, which completely robs the joy of autumn from my mind. Oh sure, you’ll catch me complaining about the summer heat, since I’m as fickle as the next guy, but once the end of summer fairs are gone, the campfires are extinguished, and school buses replace the ice cream truck in the neighborhood, my thoughts of icy roads, tire chains, and chest congestion overtake any pleasure autumn has to offer. I live in the Pacific Northwest and run weekly into California. My area of Puget Sound doesn’t see much snowfall (it’s usually rain and slush throughout most of winter), and central California offers a bit of welcomed sunshine to my regular route. But I, along with thousands of other pavement pounders, traverse around twelve significant passes and dozens more rolling hills and high desert elevations each week while running between point A and point B, which makes me really appreciate the late spring and entire summer. As I write this poem, I am thinking about how soon I need to hang the tire chains back on the truck, and how soon I should consider buying new drive tires. I was also thinking about the temperatures – I’ve seen low 30s in Oregon the last few weeks – and how I can kiss my polished wheels goodbye pretty soon. I can’t seem to enjoy autumn when nasty old winter is creeping up on me so quickly. You guys in the Midwest and Northeast are laughing at my view of winter, I’m sure, and in the Deep South, think of me in mid-January when you’re mowing your lawns and barbecuing in t-shirts and balmy 65-degree weather. Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy my humorously-pessimistic poem about the season I love to hate.
CREEPIN’ UP ON ME
By Trevor Hardwick
Hay stacks… baled up and stacked in the barns,
Ski racks… replace canoes on top of the cars.
Exhale… I can see my breath when I breathe,
Looks like… winter’s creepin’ up on me!
Moonshine… not the kind you keep in a jug,
Prime time… for coming down with a bug.
Night fall… now the roads begin to freeze,
Looks like… winter’s creepin’ up on me!
Got lost… somewhere on the edge of town,
Jack Frost… takin’ all the pumpkins down.
Temp gauge… giving me the third degree,
Looks like… winter’s creepin’ up on me!
Wet snow… bouncin’ off the hood of my Pete,
Leaves blow… try to beat me ‘cross the street.
Last night… I hit the sack with nothin’ to eat,
Looks like… winter’s creepin’ up on me!
Lost time… hangin’ chains on wet asphalt,
Road grime… sprays my rig with nothin’ but salt.
Rain-X… is helping me so I can see,
Looks like… winter’s creepin’ up on me!
Hard winds… push me to the rumble strips,
Chap Stick… coated on my two chapped lips.
Sore throat… a cough, a headache and a sneeze,
Looks like… winter’s creepin’ up on me!
Sunshine… burning in the back of my mind,
Fog line… practically unable to find.
Street signs… frosted up and hard to read,
Looks like… winter’s creepin’ up on me!
Downtime… parking at a locked-up coop,
Fine dine… nukin’ me a cup of soup.
Log lines… indicate I’m catchin’ some ZZZ’s,
Looks like… winter’s creepin’ up on me!
I’ve been… creepin’ up on maximum hours,
I’ve been… creepin’ up on needing a shower.
Seems like… I’m creepin’ up on everything,
Looks like… winter’s creepin’ up on me!