ATTACK OF THE GATOR
BY DRIVER/POET/ARTIST TREVOR HARDWICK
I’m sure all of us have, at some point, had a nice encounter with a highway “gator” – the remnants of blown-out car and truck tires that are laying in the road just waiting to attack the undercarriage and/or bright chrome and lights on our trucks – for these things are the gator’s favorite foods. Contrary to popular belief, those tire remnants aren’t normally caused by a faulty recapped tire. Most gators are typically the result of premature tire failure due to the tire running at low air pressure. This causes the tires’ sidewalls to get hot and wear out. Finally, they blowout and leave the treads lying in the road for someone to run over. Since it’s usually the strip of treads we see, we assume they came off of a recapped tire, but the fact is, blowouts happen to new tires, too. Car tires aren’t recapped as often as truck tires, and yet we see the treads of their blown-out tires scattered on the highway quite frequently. For this month’s poem, I ask that you recall the Johnny Cash song “Ring of Fire” as you read it because I wrote this poem to follow that tune. If you know the song, I bet you’ll be singing this version on the C.B. before the end of the week. If you don’t know the tune, I hope this poem still makes sense and still makes you laugh. Although most “gators” aren’t the result of recapped tire failure, I’m gonna lightheartedly pick on them anyway. I call this one “The Retread Tire” – enjoy.
THE RETREAD TIRE
By Trevor Hardwick
Trucks... are worthy things,
To dress, with lots of bling.
Down... around Yorkshire,
I ran over a retread tire!
I ran o-ver another retread tire.
It tumbled round & round & round,
And tore out trailer wires.
And it burned, burned, burned!
That retread tire... that retread tire.
I ran o-ver another gator tire!
I heard pound-pound-pound!
And the damn thing caught fire.
And it burned, burned, burned!
That gator tire... that gator tire.
The cost... of cool ain’t cheap,
And I, don’t drive no heap.
I was rollin’ with a smile,
Oh, but in another mile...
I ran o-ver another retread tire!
With the freight rates down,
Now the costs got higher.
And it burned what I earned,
That retread tire... that retread tire.
I ran o-ver another gator tire!
It’s a haunting sound,
As it yanks out wires.
And it burns, burns, burns!
That gator tire... that gator tire.
Yes it burns, burns, burns!
That retread tire... that retread tire!