TRUCKER CLUTTER
BY DRIVER/POET/ARTIST TREVOR HARDWICK
Let’s be honest - we’ve all seen those trucks out there that have trash, or other items of particular importance, piled up on the dash so high that you’d think it would be difficult to see out the windshield. I’m not here to judge, but I don’t understand how a truck cab can get that far out of control with clutter. For this poem, I wrote a letter to good old Santa Clause, asking not for more things, but rather for a bigger dashboard to store the things that are apparently impossible to throw out. Interestingly, the items I listed here in this poem are actually things I saw on various dashtops, through their windshields, of several rigs I saw on my way from L.A. to Seattle a couple weeks ago. I hope it makes you laugh, and I politely urge the clutter-bugs out there to let the clutter go. The motoring public always has their eye on the big trucks. We need the cleanest image possible.
DEAR SANTA CLAUSE...
By Trevor Hardwick
Dear Santa Claus, it’s me again, you know that I’ve been good,
I’ve always asked you every year, for everything I could.
But this year I’m not asking you, for toys or clothes or cash,
All I want for Christmas is, a slightly bigger dash.
My current dash is out of room, for all the things it stores,
I try to climb out of my truck, and stuff falls out the doors.
And if you were to ask me, about all the things it’s got,
I’ll tell you, though it’s easier, to list the things there’s not.
There’s coffee cups, cigarette butts, pencils, pens and chew,
Candy wrappers, saltine crackers, just to name a few.
Prescription pills and Glade refills, my Rand McNally map,
My dog is even up there, when he isn’t on my lap.
I’ve seen bills of lading, pencil shavings, bobble-headed dolls,
It’s so messed up that I can’t find, my phone when someone calls.
Of course it holds my CB, and my brand new GPS,
A couple dozen CDs, and my old worn-out cassettes.
There’s my toll receipts, some doggy treats, a vanillaroma tree,
An empty plastic bottle, for when nature’s callin’ me.
Paper towels and Armor-all, to keep it lookin’ neat,
And if I feel the urge, I’m sure there’s something I could eat.
Baseball caps and ginger snaps, a roll of duct tape too,
Pliers, flyers, electrical wires, and a screw driver or two.
Magazines and jelly beans, and who knows what I’ve missed,
Some fuzzy M&M’s perhaps, just add ‘em to the list.
I move some things around sometimes, but clutter still remains,
My heater vents can’t do their job, to clear the fog and rain.
Santa, all I’m asking for, is a slightly bigger dash,
So I can have a bigger place, for all my trucker trash!