TALKING TO YOURSELF!
BY TRUCKER/POET/ARTIST TREVOR HARDWICK
I thought I’d write about an experience that most of us have probably shared or witnessed at some point. New laws in many states now require the use of hands-free devices for our cell phones while we are driving. Many drivers use Bluetooth earpieces that are so small they’re hardly noticeable. It makes them appear to be talking to themselves when, in fact, they’re really talking on the phone. I myself have not yet jumped on the techno-savvy Bluetooth bandwagon, but I have been caught in situations where I overheard someone speaking out loud who appeared to be looking straight at me. Then, when I respond to them, I quickly realize that they are on the phone and not talking to or looking at me at all. It’s kind of embarrassing to recover from such a situation when you’re in line at the fuel island or in a restaurant. And the worst one of them all, by far, is when you are in a public restroom and you inadvertently join someone else’s so-called private conversation. Ya gotta love technology!
THE BLUETOOTH BLUES
By Trucker/Poet Trevor Hardwick
So there I was, just sittin’ there, ‘bout halfway through my lunch.
The truckstop filled with what appeared, to be the usual bunch.
I couldn’t help but overhear, that driver over there.
He was talkin’ to himself, out loud, while sittin’ in his chair.
“You alright?” I said to him, to let him know I cared.
Like a dog looks at a high-pitched noise, he looked confused and stared.
He raised his index finger up, and said in a bitter tone.
“Hold on, mister – can’t you see, I’m talkin’ on the phone!”
I shrugged and mumbled something like, “There ain’t no phone in here.”
Then I saw a small blue light, was blinking in his ear.
I wondered what a guy would want, an earring like that for.
And then some Garth Brooks look-a-like, came walking through the door.
A headset and a microphone, were perched upon his head.
He spoke so loud the whole dang place, heard every word he said!
That cowboy hat he wore indoors, said, “Trainee of the year.”
And sure enough, that same blue light, was blinkin’ in his ear.
On one hip was a wallet chain, he must have thought looked nice.
On the other was a cellular, computer-like device.
I thought he looked right at me, when he asked about “my space.”
I said “Sir, I ain’t that kind of guy, and this ain’t that kind of place!”
He said, “Don’t you have a bluetooth?” and I said, “Just when I eat pie!”
He said, “I ain’t talkin’ to you, man, I’m talkin’ to my wife!”
I asked him why so many guys, wear cell phones in their ear.
“Because ‘Johnny Law’ said we can’t hold, a cell phone while we steer.”
He said, “Hands-free headsets must be used, in place of normal phones”
Then we got interrupted, by a Brittany Spears ring tone.
I paid my tab and walked outside, then over to the store.
I bought a roll of duct tape, and the lady asked, “What for?”
I pulled out my old cell phone, and I placed it to my head.
“I can’t afford a hands-free phone, so I’ll tape it there instead”